Bear Safety In Alaska

It’s amazing how much scarier things are/seem when it is dark out.  

About a week ago I was riding my bike home from a friends house late at night.  Emily was out of town and I was totally bachin’ it.  I had been at my friend Andy’s house playing board games and Halo.  Good times.  Andy lives about 3 blocks away, but the alley is quicker.  I always get scared riding through the alley, mostly because of the high concentration of stray pit bulls on the south side of Kalispell.  I’m not joking.  Seriously, I’m not, there is an abundance.  

scary

My senses are heightened (because of the pit bulls).  My head on a swivel.  Eyes wide.  Jumpy.  I make it through the alley just fine (PTL), and am about 5 houses from our place when I see a shadowy figure that appeared to be coming straight towards me, riding right down the middle of the road.  As we get closer to each other I realize it is a fellow late-night bike rider.  

When the figure (who I can now see is a man) sees me, he starts yelling.  Most of what he is saying is not comprehensible.    I get scared.  Mostly because it is dark.  I realize that what he thinks is that I am his friend that he is out riding with (which I am not).  Upon further inspection, I realize the man is intoxicated (duh).  

scarier?

Dude is drunk, on a bike, at 3 in the morning, and thinks I am his friend who apparently ditched him.  I pass him as he is mumbling something about me going the wrong way, and I respond with a “you don’t know me”.  Smooth.  I sound like a teenager responding to a parent’s accusations of drug use or mental illness.  He turns to follow me.  He didn’t seem to understand at all what I was saying, still.  ”I’m not your friend”, I say.  Nice.  I pull up to my driveway.  

Not wanting him to know that I live there, I just stop and stand in the street by the driveway.  He passes, me and attempts to do a u-turn in the middle of the street, still yelling incoherently.  As he is turning (too sharply) he falls to the ground.  Hard.  When I ask him if he is alright, he responds with a great sense of humor for a drunk guy.  ”It’s called ’style points’”, he says.  ”Nice work”, I say.  Laughing audibly, I watch as he sheepishly picks up his bike, realizes this is a case of mistaken identity, and rides off into the dark.  

I guess the moral of the story is that I have scarier things to worry about in Kalispell than dogs.  Especially in our neighborhood.

At the time of writing this, I was sitting in the Denver International Airport waiting for some friends:

I have time to spare.   A few hours, to be less vague.  I am on my way to a wedding, and I got an early flight.  Someone we know who is flying out of Denver today is bringing a car here and a couple of my friends and I will then take the car to our final destination.  Crazy plan, I know…crazy brilliant.  

My favorite thing to do in the airport is look for people that I know.  It doesn’t matter where I am (even in the Bahamas), I always expect to see someone that I know that is randomly flying somewhere the same day I am.  Basically it is people-watching with goals and expectations.  It sounds stupid, but happens more often than one would think.  I am sitting at a table near Jamba Juice, and I just finished my bacon, egg, and cheese bisuit from Mc D’s.  Sidenote: I did actually see somebody that I knew in the airport.  I avoided them.  Is that bad?  Let me know…

Today I decided to change the game up a little bit and lok for doppelgangers.  I am going to sit here and watch and list any doppelgangers.  You may or may not know who they are, but they are probably an evil twin version of the real thing.  Here we go:

Todd Lindquist

Ellen Degeneres

Adam Kubista

Jim Brown

There were not as many doppelgangers as I thought, and then my computer ran out of battery because there are no stinking outlets anywhere in that airport.  So I read Chuck Klosterman IV.

On my way back from Colorado I had to fly through Seattle…which is crazy because it is SO out of the way.  Anyway, I saw two people that I knew.  Granted, they were from Kalispell and were flyingback on the same flight, but still.

I now know what it ito have writer’s block.  According to wikipedia, a very trustworthy source btw, writer’s block is

“a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity. Writer’s block can also be a hindrance even when the writer feels that they already have a story in mind but can get no further than part of that story.”  

That is me.  I have a lack of inspiration or creativity.  I don’t even have a story in mind.  

All I can think about is baseball.  It is opening day for my team, the Minnesota Twins.  I love them.  They are my favorite sports team of all time.  They do things the right way, with a limited payroll, and win ball games.  They have fun.  I wish I was in Minneapolis today, not only to go to the game, but to check out the day-long festivities at the Metrodome.  They usually start giving out free hot dogs early in the morning (with coffee of course), and continue throughout the day.  They also have games to play out in the plaza as well as other food, beer, and fun.  It is just an awesome atmosphere.  

I bought the MLB.com audio package so I could listen to all of the games.  15 bucks for the whole year…awesome.  That is the only way I can get the games.  

So here’s to baseball, blogs, and lack of posts on blogs.

Sorry guys, just in a dry spell.  There will be a new post coming this weekend!  Thanks!

Check out my first real post on Alright Hamilton!

Despite how much I love living here, there are lots of weird things about Montana.  Many of those things are a by-product of the population of the entire state being about 950,000 people.  Most of those things have to do with sports.  Here we go…

1.  Montana has no professional sports teams.  What’s the old joke?  Why doesn’t Montana have a professional baseball team?  Because then Washington would want one.  Ouch.  Man that joke is actually funny when Minnesota is not the punchline.  Not having teams sucks because everyone likes someone different…but not that much…and it’s typically not the Twins.  The Mariners are popular, but not that popular.  They like the Seahawks and the Broncos, and there are a surprising amount of Vikings fans, but none of them care enought o actually know anything about them other than the fact they “are doing pretty good” or “suck this year”.  They are not from Minnesota, but like the Vikes…weird.  

I try my hardest to have a legit conversation about pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training, the WBC, or the excitement about the young Twins pitching staff, but it usually turns into someone saying something like “baseball is so slow/boring” or “me like football better” or “Dude, Ichiro is so freaking good”…ew.   

2.  The college sports scene.  Because of number 1, number 2 is BIG.  There are two Division 1AA/FCS schools in Montana.  The University of Montana (Grizzlies), and Montana State (Bobcats).  If you have lived here for two or more years, you have likely picked a side…if you haven’t picked sides you have nothing to cheer for and people act like it is the end of the world.  Griz/Cat games are IT.  They are a BFHD: Big fat hairy deal, not Beukes Familial Hip Dysplasia.  Despite the Uof M’s recent football success, these schools are still not big time college sports, no matter what my neighbors tell you.  You would think they wre playing in the Super Bowl with their food,  flags and jerseys and…beer.  Yeah, it’s cool that they are doing well, but not that cool.  On another note, Montana State almost made it to the tourney…but didn’t.  Check out this dunk though:

There are also a bunch of small NAIA colleges that people think are a big deal.  There is Tech, Western, Northern, RMC, Carroll, and UGF.  now I’m not totally bashing these schools, because there are some good athletes that play there, but kids who “sign” with these schools…you would think that they had just signed their letter on ESPN to go play at football at LSU or to play hockey for the Gophers.   When I first got here some kid was all like, “I signed at Tech” and I was all like “OK…”.  I didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about.  Virginia Tech?  Texas Tech?  Georgia Tech?  Almost anyone who wants to play football in college could sign at one of these NAIA schools.  once they get there it’s different, because the competition at most of them is pretty good.  Carroll has a great tradition of excellence, and I know some good players who played at Western.  It’s just different.  

Carroll on the cover of SI

3.  Montana High School Sports.  Because of number 1 and number 2, number 3 is HUGE.  It’s like the 50’s all over again.  Hoosiers reincarnate.  Not really, but kind of.  I love it, but it is weird.  Why is it weird?  There are les than 200 high schools in the entire state.  Minnesota has about 500.  Other places have a lot more.  There are 4 classes in Montana: C, B, A, and AA.  There are 14 teams in AA.  14.  Yes, I said 14.  That is because most towns are tiny.  Most schools consist of an entire county of kids.  For basketball, since the state is so rediculously huge, they are split up into divisions…East and West.  7 in each.  7.  Sometimes you still  have to drive like 6 hours to a game.  Imagine it as a conference of sorts.  That is who you play your regular season schedule against.  Based on your end of season ranking you then play one playoff game, unless you are in first place, then you get a buy.  The winners of those 3 games go to state.  One game decides who goes to state.  One.  So let’s say the 7th ranked team beats the 2nd ranked team…they go to state.  Potentially the 2nd best team in the state would not go.  OK.  So then there are 8 teams (4 East and 4 West) in the state tourney.  Here is the bracket.  Weird.

I miss talking about the Twins.  I love Alright Hamilton! because it allows me to “talk” Twins with people who know what they are talking about.  Just a glimpse of Montana life.  On another note, I got promoted to Varsity Offensive Line coach for Glacier High School, so next fall you might hear more about the Montana High School Sports scene.  I’m sure you can hardly wait.  

Hey guys welcome to my blog!  It is officially open to the public, as I posted the link on facebook.  Hopefully it will spread like crazy!  Actually I am fairly certain that it won’t, but if you want to keep up with what is going on in my brain, this is a way to do that.  I will try to make it somewhat entertaining as well.  

I am currently sitting in my “south office”, Wheat Montana Bakery and Deli in Kalispell.  This is where I work when I don’t want to drive all the way to my real office.  It is a great place with a friendly staff that knows my name…I appreciate them greatly.  They let me use the internet, and don’t get sick of me when i take up a table.  Katrin (pronounced cat-rin) is my main lady here, so if you ever come, make sure you greet her.  Thats all for now, as I am preparing for YL club tonight and getting ready to go to school lunches…

My link of the day is haasertime.blogspot.com

This is community blog that i will be starting to contribute to.  A couple of friends of mine run it, and it is great!  Mostly Minnesota Twins blogging, but also just hilarious and entertaining posts.  Check out the Joe Crede limericks for a good time…

so i am trying to decide if i should make this thing public…otherwise it is just some sort of electronic diary or something, which is definitely weirder than a blog. here is my pros and cons list for making this blog public…

pros:

keep people updated on my super interesting life, it’s no longer a weird electronic diary, a means of creative expression, an outlet for my thoughts, opinions and learnings, fun hobby

cons:

will have to keep up with it more regularly, will have to be interesting, then i am one of those people who has a blog, i am assuming that people care and if the don’t then my blog is a complete and utter failure, i’m actually not all that interesting, don’t want to be the annoying twitter/facebook/myspace/blog guy

still can’t make a decision.  i will think about it more.